The Five Universal Signs of Envy And The Four Types of Players
Jealousy is an ugly thing.
I personally cannot think of any instance in which one could be jealous and maintain having correct motives. Again, jealousy is an ugly thing.
Furthermore, jealous people, for the most part, are ineffective people in your lives that are often more irritating than dangerous. However, a jealous person can do some serious damage in your life depending on one circumstance. This circumstance can only be if they are actually playing defense against you.
Here are 5 universal signs of someone who has a problem with you.
Someone who is jealous of you.
Someone constantly trying to compete with you.
Someone that doesn’t celebrate your success.
Someone constantly exhibiting passive aggressive behavior towards you.
Someone who has stopped sharing their happy moments with you.
By far, these are 5 common traits that you can identify easily when identifying who has a problem with you.
However, everyone in your life that displays these traits are not YOUR HATERS. No, they cannot be, because these traits cannot always be detrimental to your success. They can most certainly be irritating, but they do not necessarily have to be harmful.
Let us use basketball as an analogy for most of this writing. We all have “haters”, if not, then you are exhibiting no leadership traits in any part of your life with anyone. If this isn’t you, then you have at least one hater, in the traditional sense. However, I want to help you reexamine what “hating” actually is.
In basketball, you have four types of people that can do your win column any harm: the opposing fans, the referees, the opposing coaches, and the opposing players. Anyone else is irrelevant.
The opposing fans are completely irrelevant to your win column. Their effect on your win column is so minuscule, that they shouldn’t even be considered as haters. However, we have to at least acknowledge them because they are the loudest of the four types and actually paid to come see you fail. You have these kinds of people in your life. The most they can do to you is throw water on the court to make you slip and fall. Let’s face it, when has that ever stopped you from winning? Again, they are not haters are quite irrelevant.
These are the people who enforce the rules that they think you are supposed to follow. When they see you get out-of-line they will stop your play. Yet, do not view these referee-type people in your lives as haters. They are not and never will be. It is true that they can make a few bad calls and cost you the game, but they are bounded by the rules of being fair, and if you let the game get that close, you were either out played or out talented. Either way, it is your fault and not theirs. Refs are people who know how to do what you do, but are no longer active in your field due to old age, a lesser talent, never made it to the big leagues, or just like to have some power. Yet, they are not haters. They are just part of the process.
The Opposing Coaches
Okay. These people are different. They have some skill and a great amount of influence. They are also masterminds that have no intentions of allowing you to be successful. Sure sounds like a hater doesn’t it? Yet they are not. Coaches are just that. They are people who coach other people to hate you because that is their position. It is not that they don’t like you, it is that they have to coach against you because that is how the game is set up. Coach-type people need you to try to be victorious. It is the only way they have job security. The more you try to win, the longer they get to keep their jobs. They are smart, crafty, and influential, but they cannot control how hard you play or practice. They couldn’t even stop you from getting drafted or recruited, so they have no real power over you.
The Opposing Players
You guessed it. These are your real haters. These are the people who can actually do something about your success. Why? Because they are wearing an opposite jersey and will do anything it takes to beat you. In other words, they are actually playing defense against you. They will block your shot, hit you in the head, commit technical fouls, and dunk all over you if you let them. Pay very close attention to these kinds of people in your life, because they are your real haters. These people are literally in a defensive posture, on your court, swatting your shots and stealing your passes. These people are sometimes in the background, but for the most part, opposing players will be staring you in the face, behind a counter, losing your paperwork, not accepting your applications, not calling you back for interviews, telling the boss unkind things about you, and so much more.
These are your haters. Be very careful, some of you are sleeping with people who are wearing the wrong color jerseys. You have invited them into your lives and you have not yet realized they are the reason your win column is so low.